when i grow up 1

when i grow up i want to be one of those people who sees things through. one of those people who does what she said she would do even if i really really don't want to do it. like go to gym. or eat well. or finish my work. or cook dinner. for example.


when i grow up i want to be one of those people who can entertain herself, regardless of her husband or friends or family. i want to not have nothing to do just because everyone else is busy. like not sit on the couch watching nothing on tv and stuffing my face because it seems like the best way to spend my time. for example.


when i grow up i want to be one of those people who can make mistakes, learn from said mistakes, and put said mistakes behind her. like if i screw up my heinously strict diet at noon, i won't then decide that i might as well screw up the rest of the day by binging on everything in sight. or if i screw up my placement once, i will take the advice of my superiors and take a break before i try again so that i have an actual chance of seeing them through. for example.


when i grow up my house will be clean. i will have fully mad bed-making skills, and wiping down skills, and sweeping skills, and vacuuming skills and disinfecting skills and squiggying skills and general shake-down skills. and there will be no dust-bunnies or leftover glasses sitting on bedside tables or dirty litter bags in corners or exploding washing baskets or unopened letters. for example.


when i grow up i will be a better friend and family member. i will not ever, never wallow in my high expectations of others, nor will i be terribly disappointed when they disappoint me. i will collect myself and move on. and i will love on them. i will love on everyone. and i will not be afraid of upsetting or disappointing or just not being good enough. i will love on and be loved on and that's that. for example.


when i grow up i will have heard from monash and i will be doing my rounds and applying for a real job. and i will never have to sit on the couch doing nothing but musing my own shortcomings for night-long stretches. because i will have lessons to plan and essays to mark and photos to take and shows to produce and cookies to bake. for example.




wow. i didn't know all of that was in me. i was a bit concerned that my blog was too happy and "up". concerns relinquished.


-- R.