on achieving goals

how to people do this? goal achievement? i think this is the root of my problems. i have seen the end of this blog entry in my head, and i already sound whiney. apologies. but seriously, i absolutely suck at two parts of goal achievement: 1. achieve goal. 2. sustain achievement.

as if part one wasn't hard enough. i've had a pretty tough few days with my diet. i don't know how it started or why, but i take my diet very seriously. i mean, it gets me results. it achieves me goals. and for me to start taking steps backwards, well, it hurts me on an emotional level i am embarrassed to admit to. and, to make things worse, i have always been an emotionally-driven binger. so, bada-bing-bada-boom, broken cycle = major breakdown. i mess up the diet, i get upset, i eat to console myself. see? cycle.

so, tonight, after yet another binge-session, i have decided to sit down and blog-it-out. I know there's probably only one person reading this, and that person is skov, but still, accountability is accountability, right? so, skovvy. this is my attempt to "breathe and reboot". see? it doesn't just apply to one aspect of my life. it applies to many. and this - my "difficult" relationship with food - is just one of those things that i have a button to, in my head, which reads, loud and clear: breathe and reboot. so what makes tonight different to the previous week of food misbehaviour? i'm bloggin' it out, that's what. and i'm gonna figure on out what the hell i can do - something small - to break this stinkin' cycle.

what's that you say? a list might help? well, ok.

things i can do to break the cycle

one.

get my mind off of food. for god's sake. take a walk, go to gym (um, that gym membership is accumulating dust, girlfriend), go shopping, see a movie, grab a coffee, do some work, clean the house, take ruby to the beach, start working on photo wall or lavender garden or road trip or ANYTHING. go to a freakin' museum, for all i care.

two.

after trying one or many of the aforementioned, phone a friend. "millionaire" had it right. phone a friend and tell them how you're feeling. don't let them get a word in. beg them for their ear and make yourself accountable to them. for example. "hey, jus, how are you? nevermind, i don't really care. i can't stop thinking about food right now. care to stop me?" ta-dum. phone a friend.

three.

talk to yourself. crazy bec, talkin' to herself again... seriously. try this: "rebecca, i know you want me to feed you right now. and i will. just give me five minutes. and after five minutes, just give me five more. and then, if you still want me to feed you, we can talk again. but just five minutes, ok?".

honestly, if these three things fail, i don't know what to say. but i reckon if i can just follow them i will at least succeed some of the time. i'll have to be doing better than i have been this week, right? at least postponing the worst, if nothing else. any maybe these three simple steps might help to get me a little closer to my goals. 

anywho. where did the photos go? oh, i could probably add "take photos" to the things to keep me occupied list. 

-- R.

and ps.

89.3 is the worst it'll ever be. and don't forget that. mmkay?