in search of inspiration

i've somehow allowed a day of lacklustre to turn into two weeks of lacklustre. two weeks of not-grabbing-life-by-the-balls. just like that. it happened. and now it stops. now, i'm making some sort of attempt to slap myself in the face and find something to pull me - drag me if it has to, out of this rut. 


so here goes. playing my own game. things that are inspiring me on this couch tonight.


one.
allowing the creative juices to flow, in the way of fresh choreography, bringing scenes to life, injecting characters with amazing physicality and voices (and watching fifteen-year-olds nailing it). watching my husband excel in his field. hearing his work with a trio of talent and feeling so proud. using words to articulate my somewhat absurd thoughts. connecting with cast members. feeling calm and confident and believing in myself.



two.
physics in the home. wine bottles that hang, suspended in space, and have yet to fall and break. the routine of hanging washing. mimi swiping out our pacing steps as we move across the hallway. she is hungry, don't we know? valentine's red roses in a purple glass vase. the satisfaction of gently pulling blu-tac from skov's old bedroom walls. imagining my future courtyard, and the freedom and meditation that the outside will bring. home things.



three. 
refreshing life. simple life. fresh produce life. 



four.
the domestic god himself, mr. jonathan skovron. makes pesto. from scratch. sans machine. doing things the old fashioned way. 









five.
the routine of gym. going. always thinking the worst part is over as i walk in. sweating. reaching goals. improving. the pride of accomplishment.


six.
love. of the hardcore, sickeningly sweet variety. of the dancing in the kitchen variety. of the imagining our future life variety.


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i know there is so much around me to be inspired by. i think that the waiting game and the not-knowing-what-i'm-doing-this-year thing are gettin' me down. and i want to make sure you all know that i know that i don't have serious problems. in fact, i am privileged, blessed. i'm two thirds of the way to the holy trinity. i am surrounded by interesting, beautiful people and interesting, challenging work and i spend a lot of time doing what i love. and for that i am so grateful. it's just that these last two weeks, i've had trouble seeing beyond the fog of frustration to see the beauty of the world, of my world, and all that is in it. 


hence the inspirations above. if you feel like it, share with me something that inspires you. something that might help me to just snap out of it. if it works for you, then maybe it will for me too. so, what is it that you do or say or think about when you're feeling a bit in a rut? maybe we can help each other.


-- R.