small victories.

i've just gone to write the title of this post four times now, each followed by a series of delete button hits. usually i have the title in my head and it guides the content. but today i guess i should figure out what i want to say first and then come up with the brilliant title. having just finished the post and titling it, i feel kinda stupid as you will have already read the title. but you should know i honestly genuinely did not name it until i'd signed off. swearsies.


so, what do i want to say right now? well, for starters, i had a really good week, which, when i look back at the evidence, is a bit strange. 


one. i finally made contact with monash dingbat, and he was a jerk. he was short and blunt and downright rude. but i. but i was calm, but i was clear, but i did not cry. and so while the outcome of that event was not necessarily what i had hoped for, 


(it played out in my head something like this -
me: did you make a mistake?
monash digbat: yes, so sorry, come on back now.
me: great, thanks!)


i was nevertheless really proud of the way i conducted myself. and i plan to continue that conversation with monash dingbat first thing thursday morning, which is when he instructed me (in his most endearing fashion) to do so.


two. another shoot with the sisters. i got home and was dissappointed with my results. i felt like i had wasted a perfectly good learning shoot because i forgot what i was trying to say with the images. alana was too serious and too pouty, and simi looked too old in the ways i was posing her. but i. but i got one shot. a shot of a lifetime that i am ninety percent sure i fluked. nevertheless, it is there. no wait, it is here:





and in the end, all you need is one good shot to keep you going. and this shot, i am telling you it is feeding my soul. the foreground details of the ripples in the sand, and the way the light at sunset bounces so perfectly off the water that remains trapped in its crevices. and the way in which the two girls are framed, they look so small against the magnificence of the fading sky, two little shadows waiting in the shore. this photo is so good that it must have been a mistake. that's the only way i can explain it. i guess they say you should learn from your mistakes, eh!?


three. skov and i had three, count them three big fights this week. which for us, is pretty much three more than we ever have in any given week. they were awful, and we cried, and pleaded with each other to understand. they made us late and exhausted and there was hate in the air. but we. but we conflict resolutioned. but we talked until we could talk no more. we found the love, and we reached solutions that worked for us. and i am oh-so-proud of how far we have come from the days when we believed that a fight must mean the end of our relationship. can i get a little goooo-team for us please?




it was one of those soul-searching, character-defining weeks, where you are confronted by challenge after challenge, and i reckon i came out of it in fine fashion. because the fact of the matter is, sometimes shit happens. and we cannot control it. but what we can control is how we face the battle. and until recently, i used to crumble under the pressure and give up and walk away and pretend it didn't even matter to me. but this recent turn around, which is ninety-nine percent a simple case of holding a mirror up to myself, has me enamoured. i love thinking like this. i love being a strong contender when it comes to life's challenges. i love seeing-who-i-want-to-be, and i especially love the self-reflection that this blog has brought me. seriously, i recommend it (zoe this means you).


because it is good to be critical and hold that mirror up and see the flaws, embrace the flaws, change those that can be changed, and love those that cannot. and i am learning every day just how to do that.


and i leave you with a few of the better shots from the sisters' shoot.




























and oh yes, the title of the post? small victories. but you already knew that.


-- R.