i'm writing this entry to my future self. some things you should know, future self.
one.
there will always be that rehearsal. first run through. everything falls apart. you want to vomit and cry. when said rehearsal occurs, just know, it has happened before. it is not the first and it will not be the last. and the show will go on. and they will know their cues and they will commit to the moment. and at some point, in say, two weeks, you will look back on that rehearsal and say, wow, i should've known. well now you do.
and, in all seriousness, even if the whole show falls apart a week before opening, try to hold on to that perspective you hold dearest which reminds you that, after all, (and tho it pains me to type it), it is just a musical. that previous sentence goes against everything i believe in, but there, now it's out there, the universe has it, so let's just allow it to bounce around a bit.
two.
do not eat five pieces of pizza if you are not willing to bear the consequences.
three.
when you have not seen your husband for two days apart from the two and a half minutes when he wakes you to say goodnight as he climbs into bed, do not choose day three as an excellent day for a fight.
four.
take more pictures. this one i've been working on for the last few days:
secret community garden hidden in a dirty urban laneway moments from my doorstep where dogs play in hoses and city-farmer-women wear giant brimmed hats.
a quick shoot with netty, a most photogenic muse.
five.
when you get that feeling of longing to be somewhere else, when you are overwhelmed and stressed and feel like nothing you do will ever help you climb out of the hole that you have seemingly dug for yourself, remember this:
and this...
because, at some point, when all is quiet in the universe, we will return to holes in socks on couches where two four-eyed blondies sit, ignoring the tv and each other, as one plots his expletive expletive AFL dreamteam, and the other blogs about it.
and there you will find yourself.
-- R.
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